For most people, anytime they start something new, there is a bit of imposter syndrome. I for sure have a healthy dose of that. “Who are you to teach meditation? You’re not an expert. You’re still learning yourself.” Do you know those doubts?  

Maybe it’s getting older and bolder but I started to wonder “why NOT me?”. Who better to teach beginner meditation than someone who was not so long ago a beginner… and some days still very much feels like one. 

Let’s be real. I began learning about meditation and mindfulness (more on that difference another time) at the recommendation of a therapist. I signed up for an eight week Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy session at The Ohio State University and something stuck. 

At the beginning of the eight weeks I felt curious to see how it may or may not impact my day-to-day life. You might know that feeling…  showing up to something new, not sure if it will stick. By the end of the series, I wanted to explore more. So I signed up for a weekly meditation class at my local yoga studio, Radiant Yoga and Wellness.

Our group was small. The meditations were guided. It felt accessible. Our teacher encouraged us to find comfortable positions and gave us permission to lie down (thank goodness!). She listened and reflected back. We were in community. I enjoyed it.

Then Covid hit. Womp. Womp. Who can forget that? 

Our in-person class transitioned to online. I set up a small area with my props and started to enjoy the ease of meditating from my home. It wasn’t quite the same as being in person in the historical, nearly magical studio that is Radiant, but we made it work. Again, we were in community, albeit virtually.

Meditation supported me through the pandemic and pregnancy. After the baby arrived, my practice shifted. And by shifted, I mean, it disappeared.

Any time spent without babe, was spent eating, showering or resting. Meditation practice became more of a mindfulness practice. I found myself noticing presence in moments a whole lot more than I remembered doing before I started meditating. 

The world started opening up and I found myself setting up those same props and practicing at home again. 

Then my Mom was diagnosed with cancer. And my family began splitting time between home and… well, home. Where I live is my home and where I grew up is my home, even if they’re two hours away from each other. 

We spent the better part of 18 months caring for my parents until my Mom died. It’s a blurry time. Grief. Caregiving. Survival. And if I’m being honest (which I am), meditation wasn’t top of mind for me, even if it would have supported me well in this time. Ebbs and flows peeps, ebbs and flows. 

After Mom died, I signed up for a yoga class with Michele Vinbury at Radiant Yoga and Wellness. Oh the play and realness she brought to yoga! I so enjoyed her style and emailed her after the series asking if she had any other classes. She shared an upcoming Meditation Teacher Training and said I didn’t have to want to become a teacher to join; I could use it to deepen my own practice.

The curriculum explored relationships to self, to society, and to nature. I felt a little ember in me say “yes!”.  Fast forward to a weekend in the Hocking Hills, a snow storm and a conversation with my husband about this teacher training. I applied. I was accepted. I was back in community.

Notice a theme here?  Something, something… community 😌 It’s not a novel idea in our ever disconnected and isolating society to be looking for community. But for me, I was starting to notice how much I had been missing it through the experience of actually having it.

Okay back to the question: “So you’re a meditation teacher now? How’d that happen?” 

I dove into teacher training. And early on I found myself thinking “okaaay, I think I want to teach this”. Something lit up in me. I felt an excitement and energy around the practices; both the challenging practices and the “oh-this-is-amazing” practices.  

We committed to daily practice and weekly class meditations, as well as monthly in-person weekends. There was homework. Reading and reflection. And so much more. It was a dream. Turns out I really enjoyed being a student again. And I really enjoyed being… you guessed it… in community.

The truth is I learned through teacher training that meditation can be so much more than one thing. The sitting cross-legged. The body scan. The guided imagery. The breath watching. The loving kindness. The yoga nidra. 

Yes each practice has its own structure, but who knew there were so many? This wasn’t what I understood meditation to be. It doesn’t have to be so prescriptive. 

By the end of the training I felt a connection to my body, a trust, a knowing. It was new for me. It was something I had been missing. 

I wanted to introduce meditation to people who were curious. I said it out loud. To my family. To my friends. To my community. 

And here I am. A beginner meditation teacher. I practice. I learn. Practice some more. Learn some more. And so the cycle continues. 

I haven’t spent years studying meditation. Nor have I been practicing for most of my adult life. What I have always had is a quiet curiosity toward something deeper and more meaningful. Meditation isn’t the end of that curiosity, it’s part of the journey.